


Wait What

by pepperz



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Ghosts, M/M, Road Trips, Sorry Not Sorry, Texting, its sort of modern but they're still the government, texts, this is from my wattpad, uhh, yeah - Freeform, yep
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-20 01:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 5,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11910477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperz/pseuds/pepperz
Summary: Another Hamilton text AU! Full of adventures such as ghosts, road trips, and hospitals! Please send in requests, they really help!





	1. uhh what

A.HAM ADDED _JLaur_, helplesslydevotedtoyou, Saltisfied41, pegasusus, XxMariaxX, Hercooles, A.Burr, Lafayayette, AND Pz TO CHAT.

 

A.HAM: helloo

_JLaur_: hiiii

helplesslydevotedtoyou: Hi!

XxMariaxX: Hello

A.Burr: What is this?

A.HAM: it's a group Chat

A.Burr: Obviously. I meant what is its purpose?

A.HAM: the purpose of entertainment is never enough for you, eh?

_JLaur_: buzzkillllllll

A.Burr: Ok If this is completely pointless I'm leaving.

Pz: No you're gonna be a main character.

XxMariaxX: ...

_JLaur_: ...uhh

A.HAM: who is that

A.Burr: You tell us, you added them.

A.HAM: i have no idea who that is

 

Pz HAS LEFT THE CHAT

 

Lafayayette: ...

A.HAM: hey Laff!

Lafayayette: hey

A.HAM: Is everyone here?

_JLaur_: I don't think Herc or Peggs have said anything yet

Pegasusus: Here! I was making a milkshake

A.HAM: What kind?

Pegasusus: Hot fudge

A.HAM: oh then you're excused

A.Burr: Hamilton aren't you supposed to be in a meeting right now? 

A.HAM: that can wait

A.Burr: I really don't think it can

A.HAM: shhhhh just you wait

A.Burr: ...

A.HAM: just you wait

_JLaur_: Actually didn't Jefferson come down with something?

Saltisfied41: Food poisoning, right?

A.HAM: he poisoned his mac and cheese. poisoned himself. 

Pegasusus: Secretary of State, everyone.

A.HAM: he's a poison to our country, more like it.

A.Burr: I wouldn't go making claims you can't back up, Alexander.

A.HAM: who's side are you ON?

A.Burr: Can't you just

A.HAM: ??

A.Burr: Talk less

_JLaur_: I SWEAR IF HE SAYS IT ONE MORE TIME

A.Burr: Smile more

 

_JLaur_ HAS LEFT CHAT

 

A.HAM ADDED _JLaur_ TO CHAT

 

Saltisfied41: Can you get along please? This chat will not destroy everyone's friendship.

Pegasusus: Angie did you spell satisfied wrong in your username?

Saltisfied41: ...

 

Saltisfied41 CHANGED THEIR NAME TO Satisfied41

 

Pegasusus: yOU CANT HIDE

helplesslydevotedtoyou: Can everyone just calm down?

Pegasusus: calm is boring

Lafayayette: Oui I must agree

A.HAM: UPDATE

A.Burr: On the cabinet meeting?

Satisfied41: On Jefferson?

Pegasusus: On the local animal shelter? I get those emails too!

A.HAM: ?? no i got a phone update

Pegasusus: Ugh

A.HAM: but in regards to the cabinet meeting, Washington rescheduled it to Monday.

A.Burr: Finally some real information.

A.HAM: yeah he has to stop by ikea to get help the instructions don't make sense to any of us

Pegasusus: lol

A.HAM: what?

Pegasusus: wait that was a joke right? It was a joke about it being called a cabinet meeting?

A.HAM: no i'm serious those instructions are just too damn hard

A.Burr:...

A.HAM: I mean I get it's an easy way to not have to translate them into different languages, but 'ikea' is a different language IN ITSELF

Satisfied41: ...

A.HAM: Knox is usually great when we play pictureka and even HE couldn't understand them

A.Burr: So THIS is what really goes on in cabinet meetings. No wonder practically no issues have been solved.

A.HAM: Not true!

A.Burr: Name one issue.

A.HAM: My debt plan was put into action.

A.Burr: But did it really solve the issue...

A.HAM: EXCUSE ME? I SPENT MANY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS LABORING AWAY TRYING TO CREATE THIS PLAN I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT BEING VERBALLY ASSAULTED.

A.Burr: Stop yelling you're always yelling

A.HAM: AM NOT

Pegasusus: Even you're username is in all caps

A.HAM: SHUT UP, HEATHER!

Pegasusus: SORRY HEATHER

_JLaur_: uh what

A.Burr: I wasn't verbally assaulting anything. I was simply questioning the decision.

A.HAM: And you have any authority to even submit input WHY?

Satisfied41: EVERYONE CALM DOWN

A.Burr: What?

_JLaur_: OW!

Hercooles: wHATS HAPPENING

A.HAM: FUCK YOU BURR

A.HAM: FUCK IKEA

A.HAM: FUCK JEFFERSON

A.Burr: At least take us to dinner first

Pegasusus: Did he just

_JLaur_: Guys I'm at Petsmart!

A.HAM: What why?

_JLaur_: They're letting me pet the turtles!

A.HAM: Letting you?

_JLaur_: ...regardless of their say I am petting the turtles.

Pegasusus: boi gon die

 

_JLaur_ SENT A PHOTO

 

Pegasusus: aWWWWWWW

XxMariaxX: They are adorable

_JLaur_: right? I think I'm gonna get one

A.HAM: John you can't get a pet turtle

_JLaur_: Why not?

A.HAM: You can't take care of any pets

_JLaur_: and what gives you that impression

A.HAM: You shot Charles Lee in the jaw.

_JLaur_: Charles Lee is not an animal.

A.HAM: Well any dog speaks more eloquently than him, so if you shot him imagine what you'd do to a dog? Or a turtle?

helplesslydevotedtoyou: He's got a point.

 

_JLaur_ HAS LEFT CHAT

 

A.HAM HAS ADDED _JLaur_ TO CHAT

 

A.Ham: ok now down to business


	2. Song Pranks and Broken TVs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Song is Die In a Fire by The Living Tombstone)

NEW CHAT

 

A.Burr ADDED A.HAM TO CHAT

A.Burr: I really hate you, stop getting in my way.

A.HAM: what?

A.Burr: I've lost my patience

A.HAM: is that even possible for you to lose your patience?

A.Burr: When are you gonna decay?

A.HAM: that's cold. what did i do?

A.Burr: I want to throw you out just like my broken TV.

A.HAM: you broke your TV?

A.Burr: If you come back once more, it shall be painful you'll see.

A.HAM: Was that a threat? What are you saying? And what did I do to you anyways?

A.Burr: I hope you die in a fire.

A.Burr: hope you'll be stabbed in the heart. Hope you'll get shot and expire.

A.HAM: What like you'd shoot me? Haha. That made me laugh out loud. Your threats are empty and we both know it.

A.Burr: Hope you'll get taken apart. Hope this is what you desire.

A.HAM: why would anyone desire that?

A.Burr: it's almost over, why can't you just let it fly?

A.HAM: What's almost over? Let what fly?

A.Burr: Don't be afraid, it's not the first time you'll die...

A.HAM: uh what? While I have been in many near-death situations, I can never seem to die.

A.Burr: Your mechanical parts click, sounds like when I broke your nose.

A.HAM: wait you said that was an accident!

A.Burr: Once I get my second chance I won't leave you alone.

A.HAM: Okay I'm leaving this is insane.

A.Burr: Wait

A.Burr: Hamilton

A.Burr: They were song lyrics it was just a prank

A.Burr: please don't call the police


	3. Burr-Dum Tsssssss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I remember writing this at my family reunion while trying not to talk to anyone...

NEW CHAT

 

A.HAM ADDED _JLaur_ TO CHAT

 

A.HAM: I need your help

_Jlaur_: Hello to you too

A.HAM: this is serious

_Jlaur_: what is it?

A.HAM: Burr pranked me and I fell for it

_JLaur_: And I come into this how?

A.HAM: I need help finding a song to prank him with. 

_JLaur_: Because he won't notice you pranking him literally right after him pranking you

A.HAM: Johnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

_JLaur_: Alexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A.HAM: please?

_JLaur_: Okay fine

_JLaur_: Bad Blood?

A.HAM: everyone's heard that

_JLaur_: I Knew You Were Trouble?

A.HAM: you're obsessed with Taylor Swift. No.

_JLaur_: WILDEST DREAMS

A.HAM: NO

_JLaur_: YES YES that is the last option I'm giving you.

A.HAM: why do you hate me

_JLaur_: you're pretty easy to hate :)

A.HAM: fuck you

 

•

 

A.HAM: He said 'let's get out of this town.'

A.Burr: Well hello to you too, who are we talking about?

A.HAM: drive out of the city away from the crowds

A.Burr: who are you talking about?

A.HAM: I thought heaven can't help me now. Nothing lasts forever but this is gonna take me down.

A.Burr: Are you talking about Laurens? Did someone kidnap you?

A.HAM: he's so tall 

A.Burr: Everyone's tall compared to you, Alexander.

A.HAM: and handsome as hell

A.Burr: Well now I'm very curious who this is.

A.HAM: He's so bad but he does it so well

A.Burr: Now I know we aren't talking about Laurens. Who is this mystery guy?

A.HAM: I can see the end as it begins.

A.Burr: Yeah, "I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory," we get it.

A.HAM: My one condition is: 

A.HAM: Say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset, babe

A.Burr: ...

A.HAM: Red lips and rosy cheeks, say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams.

A.Burr: Say I'LL see you again? What are you talking about?

A.HAM: I said no one has to know what we do...

A.Burr: I don't understand

A.HAM: His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room.

A.Burr: Firstly, WHO's clothes? Secondly, WHY are you telling me this?

A.HAM: and his voice is a familiar sound.

A.Burr: Great to know you're not having one night stands.

A.HAM: Nothing lasts forever but this is getting good now

A.Burr: Now?

A.HAM: He's so tall... and handsome as hell... he's so bad but he does it so well...

A.Burr: Wait are you talking about Jefferson? 

A.HAM: Okay that's where this ends. Not talking about Jefferson. Nope. This was a song lyric prank. I'm leaving.

A.Burr: Oh...


	4. Ghost Caves pt 1

_JLaur_: I DON'T LIKE THIS IDEA WE'RE GOING TO BE HAUNTED FOR LIFE

XxMariaxX: Uh what?

_JLaur_: oh oops that was meant for Alex not the group chat sorry ignore me

helplesslydevotedtoyou: Well now I'm curious, what's happening?

A.HAM: we're going to a place called the "Forbidden Caverns" and they're supposed to be haunted

_JLaur_: definitely haunted. 

A.HAM: it's literally just a bunch of old caves

_Jlaur: even the brochure says it's haunted

A.HAM: ghosts aren't real

_JLaur_: how would you know?

A.HAM: I've seen enough people die that I would've seen one by now

_JLaur_: they're invisible!

A.HAM: whatever

Lafeyayette: No John is right, ghosts are real.

_JLaur_: ha, see?

helplesslydevotedtoyou: Ghosts AREN'T real.

pegasusus: totally real. have you guys not red Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark?

Satisfied41: Not real.

Hercooles: I'm not weighing in on this

A.HAM: tied.

_JLaur_: we need a tie breaker

_JLaur_: I bet Jefferson believes in ghosts.

A.HAM: no matter how ridiculous Jefferson is he doesn't believe in ghosts

_JLaur_: PROVE IT

A.HAM CHANGED THEIR NAME TO A.Ham

A.Ham ADDED T.Jeff

A.Ham: I have called upon you to clear up an altercation myself and these associates were having. You see, 50% of us do not believe in the existence of ethereal beings. What are your thoughts on the matter?

T.Jeff: As far as my beliefs go, these spirits exist, but I wouldn't say they would have the ability to inflict upon me any harm.

A.Ham: Thank you for your input. 

 

T.Jeff HAS LEFT CHAT

 

_JLaur_: GHOSTS ARE REAL

A.Ham: whatever

A.Ham: we're here anyway

helplesslydevotedtoyou: Why are you texting when you're in the same room?

_JLaur_: its more fun

_JLaur_: even the map is scary

 

A.Ham: it's a map. no ghosts in the map.

_JLaur_: the tour guide just called us we're about to go underground ahh send help fondjwndjwn

A.Ham: omg it's actually kinda dark looking

pegasusus: omg go in a private chat if you're gonna be weird and text each other instead of talk

•

NEW CHAT

 

_JLaur_ ADDED A.Ham TO CHAT

 

_JLaur_: its dark in here

A.Ham: where'd the tour guide go?

_JLaur_: She said something before she left I can't understand her accent

A.Ham: did you feel that?

_JLaur_: it's shaking I 

A.Ham: e rrquak e

JLaur: f jus


	5. Ghost Caves pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one wasn't written too well...

_JLaur_: Where are you? The tour guide brought the group up back into the lobby but I can't find you?

_JLaur_: I'm over by this bear statue in the far corner

 

_JLaur_ SENT A PHOTO

 

_JLaur_: Alex?

_JLaur_: ok I'm kinda freaking out

_JLaur_: I've told the staff and they can't find you either

_JLaur_: they've closed off the caves because I guess a part collapsed near the exit plz respond

_JLaur_: they're sending a few people who work here down to look for anyone left behind Alex please I'm getting worried

A.Ham: h elp p

_JLaur_: Alex?!

_JLaur_: Where are you are you okay??

_JLaur_: Are you hurt what happened?!

A.Ham: stuck

_JLaur_: Stuck where? Underground? The rescue people said no one was down there where are you? 

A.Ham: I don't know

A.Ham: it's dark my foot is stuck

_JLaur_: can you see anything??

 

A.Ham SENT A PHOTO

 

_JLaur_: Oh my god I'm telling the staff!

_JLaur_: They're sending people down now!

A.Ham: hurry

 

A.Ham: I hear people

_JLaur_: Few! I'm so worried. Are you hurt?

A.Ham: Well my leg's pinned under a rock so I could probably be better

_JLaur_: How did you get away from the group anyway?

A.Ham: well I heard a yell and I thought maybe someone lost the group so I followed the noise and then there was an earthquake and   
I lost you

A.Ham: The staff is here they're helping me get unstuck

_JLaur_: RELIEF

 

A.Ham: I'm in the lobby I see you

_JLaur_: where are you?

A.Ham: By the paramedics

_JLaur_: omg is your leg okay?

A.Ham: yep

_JLaur_: You're very calm for someone who just almost died 

A.Ham: This isn't the worst way I've almost died

_JLaur_: I almost just went spelunking through a cave to find you

A.Ham: you're two feet away stop texting 

•

A.Ham: I almost just died 

XxMariaxX: Whatever

Pegasusus: cool

_JLaur_: that's your reaction to your friend just dying??

helplesslydevotedtoyou: This is pretty much a daily occurrence 

A.Ham: yeah...

_JLaur_: Am I the ONLY one scarred from this?

A.Ham: Yeah you're kind of overreacting

_JLaur_: YOU ALMOST DIED

Pegasusus: get over it


	6. Dear Evan Hamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More song prank-ness

NEW CHAT

_JLaur_ ADDED A.Burr

 

_JLaur_: I need your help

A.Burr: With...?

_JLaur_: a song prank

A.Burr: I've had enough song pranks

_JLaur_: Yeah but the author is a bit too busy to think of some actual plots

A.Burr: ...

_JLaur_: ...

A.Burr: ...

_JLaur_: so I wanna prank Alex but idk what song to use

A.Burr: American Idiot

_JLaur_: no

A.Burr: Catastrophe 

_JLaur_: No

A.Burr: Stupid Hoe

_Jlaur_: no you're terrible at this

A.Burr: At what? I was just describing Hamilton.

_JLaur_: ...

A.Burr: ...?

_JLaur_: ...

 

_JLaur_ HAS LEFT CHAT

•

NEW CHAT

_JLaur_ ADDED Lafayayette

 

_JLaur_: I NEED HELP

Lafayayette: ??

_JLaur_: I need a song to prank Alexander with

Lafayayette: ohhh sure

Lafayayette: Waving Through A Window?

_JLaur_: oh no you've been listening to Dear Evan Hansen

Lafayayette: Castle On a Cloud?

_JLaur_: LES MISERABLES TOO AHH

Lafayayette: Sincerely, Me. Final answer.

_JLaur_: ughhhhhh fine

_Jlaur_: seek help for your Broadway addiction though

Lafayayette: no! Peggy and I are starting a club!

•

_JLaur_: Dear Alexander we've been way too out of touch.

A.Ham: Oh hey! We just talked earlier?

_JLaur_: Things have been crazy and it sucks that we don't talk that much.

A.Ham: We just talked...earlier... I guess things have been kind of crazy though. 

_JLaur_: But I should tell you that I think of you each night.

A.Ham: That's sweet of you

_JLaur_: I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight

A.Ham:

_JLaur_:

A.Ham:

_JLaur_: I gotta tell you life without you has been hard

A.Ham: John I literally just spoke to you this morning

_JLaur_: Has been bad

A.Ham: This. Morning.

_JLaur_: has been rough

A.Ham: ??

_JLaur_: And I miss talking about life and other stuff

A.Ham: what other stuff?

_JLaur_: I like my parents

A.Ham: Since when?

_JLaur_: I love my parents but each day's another fight

A.Ham: I'm sorry

_JLaur_: if I stop smoking drugs then everything might be alright!

A.Ham: ...smoking drugs?

_JLaur_: if I stop smoking crack

A.Ham: crack??

_JLaur_: if I stop smoking pot then everything might be alright

A.Ham: you smoke pot?? Since when...?

_JLaur_: I'll take your advice; try to be more nice

A.Ham: Are you sure it wasn't Burr that said that?

_JLaur_: I'll turn it around wait and see

A.Ham: turn WHAT around?

_JLaur_: Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention! It's easy to change if you give it your attention.

A.Ham: I guess

_JLaur_: All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be. Sincerely, Me.

A.Ham: oh that was a letter? Why don't you just call me?

_JLaur_: Dear John Laurens yes I also miss our talks

A.Ham: What the actual hell

_JLaur_: Stop doing drugs just try to take deep breaths and go on walks.

A.Ham: are you texting yourself??

_JLaur_: Dude I'm proud of you just keep pushing through. You're turning around I can see!

A.Ham: okay this is weird

_JLaur_: just wait and see!

A.Ham: see WHAT?? Okay I have actual work to do so text me when you're not being insane?

_JLaur_: wait! They were song lyrics... Sincerely, Me from Dear Evan Hansen?

A.Ham: who's Evan Handheld?

_JLaur_: Evan Hansen

A.Ham: Evan Handsoap

_JLaur_: Evan Hansen

A.Ham: Evan Hamilton

_JLaur_: THATS YOU

A.Ham: my names Alex not Evan silly

_JLaur_: ...

A.Ham: ...


	7. WAIT IS THIS A CROSSOV-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I have another story on here, an extension to the Ghost Caves chapters. If you want to read it it's on my account.

NEW CHAT

 

A.Ham ADDED _JLaur_ TO CHAT

 

A.Ham ADDED US.Navy TO CHAT

 

A.Ham: HEYYYYYY

US.Navy: ??

_JLaur_: You're literally sitting right next to me??

A.Ham: BUT HE ISN'T

_JLaur_: AND WHO IS HE?

A.Ham: ASK HIM YOURSELF

US.Navy: ...

_Jlaur_: Who are you?

US.Navy: Very weirded out

_JLaur_: Hey that's my name, too!

A.Ham: so your probably wondering why I have called upon you today

_JLaur_: *you're 

A.Ham: I swear to god 

_JLaur_: sorry sorry continue

A.Ham: I need you're guys' help on a very important subject

US.Navy: *your

A.Ham: ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME YOU TOO?!

US.Navy: Sorry

_JLaur_: continue? What do you want?

A.Ham: NO. you grammar freaks had your chance, and ruined it.

_JLaur_: says the one who wrote the other 51

A.Ham: HE NEVER SAID I WROTE THEM WELL

US.Navy: what?

_JLaur_: I don't understand this chat

 

_JLaur_ ADDED Pegasusus

 

Pegasusus: ??

_JLaur_: the more confused people the better 

 

US.Navy ADDED RueNarcado

 

RueNarcado: ??

A.Ham: CONFUSION

US.Navy: BLACKOUT BLACKOUT

RueNarcado: ...Blackout??

Pegasusus: guyyyssss stopppppp

A.Ham: NO IM NON STOP *PUNCHES WALL*

A.Ham: *STEALS EVERYONE'S WALLETS*

A.Ham: *BRINGS EVERYONE DEAD BACK TO LIFE*

Pegasusus: CALM DOWN

A.Ham: never

RueNarcado: ...

_JLaur_: okay m8 I don't care who you are, but your screen name... I have to ask.

RueNarcado: Oh well my name is Ruben Marcado and rue just sort of fit.... and narcotics make you fall asleep... and... uhh well I'm a chemist so I make stuff sort of like that so I guess it fit?

Pegasusus: you're rambling like you have a secret

RueNarcado: No secrets here. What could my Secret possibly be?

Pegasusus: if you had a secret you'd pay a price!

RueNarcado: ??

Pegasusus: an... Ian Price

RueNarcado: What???

Pegasusus: What?

RueNarcado: ????????

Pegasusus: ???

A.Ham: what the 

_JLaur_: uhh?

•

NEW CHAT

RueNarcado ADDED Pegasusus TO CHAT

RueNarcado: Who are you and what do you do?

Pegasusus: I'm Margarita Schuyler and I keep up to date on NBC ;)

RueNarcado: What?

Pegasusus: What?

RueNarcado: What?


	8. Song Prank Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song Prank Special for 200 hits, so soon! :)

NEW CHAT

 

A.Ham ADDED A.Burr TO CHAT

 

A.Ham: Theodosia writes me a letter every day

A.Burr: You talk to Theodosia?

A.Ham: I'm keeping the bed warm while her husband is away

A.Burr: ...

A.Ham: He's on the British side in Georgia trying to keep the colonies in line

A.Burr . . .

A.Ham: Well he can keep all of Georgia theodosia she's mine

A.Burr: Are you trying to prank me with my own song?

A.Ham:

A.Burr:

A.Ham: maybe

•

NEW CHAT

 

A.Ham ADDED _JLaur_ TO CHAT

A.Ham: Are we gonna have a problem?

_Jlaur_: What?

A.Ham: You got a bone to pick?

_Jlaur_: no?

A.Ham: You've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick?

_JLaur_: What did I do?

A.Ham: I'd normally slap your face off and everyone here could watch

_JLaur_: This is a text? What happened?

A.Ham: But I'm feeling nice, here's some advice; Listen up Bi-otch!

_JLaur_: Okay whatever I did that has you all upset can't possibly be this bad since I don't even know what I did

A.Ham: I like looking hot, buying stuff they cannot

_JLaur_: ...Okay?

A.Ham: I like drinking hard, maxing dad's credit card.

_JLaur_: ??

A.Ham: I like skipping gym, scaring her, screwing him

_JLaur_: gym?? Who's her?? Who's HIM??

A.Ham: I like killer clothes, kicking nerds in the nose

A.Ham: if you lack the balls, you can go play dolls have your mommy fix you a snack

_JLaur_: what

A.Ham: Or you could come smoke, pound some rum and coke, in my Porsha with the quarter back

_JLaur_: You smoke? Since when??

A.Ham: Honey what'cha waiting for? Step into my candy store

_JLaur_: IS THIS A PRANK

A.Ham: ...

A.Ham: maybe

_JLaur_: oh fuck you

_JLaur_: fuck me for falling for it

•

NEW CHAT

A.Ham ADDED T.Jeff TO CHAT

A.Ham: He said, there's nothing like your smile, sort of subtle and perfect and real

T.Jeff: Hamilton? Who said that?

A.Ham: And he said, you never know how wonderful that smile could make someone feel

T.Jeff: Who are we talking about?

A.Ham: And he knew whenever you get bored you scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans

T.Jeff: I never wear jeans, because unlike you I have a fashion sense

A.Ham: And he noticed that you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines 

T.Jeff: ...that's you

A.Ham: But he kept it all inside his head, what he saw he left unsaid. And though he wanted to, he couldn't talk to you, he couldn't find a way. But he would always say.

T.Jeff: WHO?

A.Ham: If I could tell him, tell him everything I see. If I could tell him how he's everything to me. But we're a million worlds apart and I don't know how I would even start. If I could tell him. If I could tell.

T.Jeff: Are YOU saying these things? Because I couldn't blame you, but you could find a better approach to admitting your feelings.

A.Ham: He thought that you looked really pretty- er, that you looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair

T.Jeff: Okay is this a prank?

A.Ham: mAYBE

•

NEW CHAT

 

A.Ham ADDED Helplesslydevotedtoyou TO CHAT

 

A.Ham: Have you seen my sister Evelyn?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: You don't have a sister?

A.Ham: Dang she's gone and wandered off again.

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: DO you have a sister?

A.Ham: I've been looking High and low, where oh where'd my sister go?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Well where did you see her last?

A.Ham: She's been known to spend some time with a sailor friend of mine

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Try calling them?

A.Ham: I called him up and what'd he say? "I ain't seen that girl today."

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Any other places she could be?

A.Ham: So if you see my sister Evelyn tell that girl to hurry home again

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: I didn't even know you had a sister

A.Ham: Where oh where'd my sister Evelyn go?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: I have no idea

A.Ham: Is she with the doctor or the plumber or the dentist or the handyman?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Do you want me to call them?

A.Ham: Did she go to India or Africa or Wichita or Pakistan?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Well I doubt it

A.Ham: Did she go and join the navy, or go completely crazy?

A.Ham: Or is she playing a trick on me?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Maybe! She's probably fine.

A.Ham: Did she run off with the barber, the professor, or the banker, or the clergyman?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: what's a clergyman?

A.Ham: Is it possible that she could be in Timbuktu, or Katmandu or Vegas or Uzbekistan? Is she learning how to do-do, The Chattanooga Choo Choo?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Wait a minute is this a prank?

A.Ham: mAYBE

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: I knew you didn't have a sister!

•

A.Ham: Everyone keeps realizing I'm song-pranking themmmm

_JLaur_: Well you do it so often

A.Ham: Well no one requests chapters so I have to improvise 

_Jlaur_: What?

A.Ham: What?

_JLaur_: I didn't say something, you said something..

A.Ham: wha-me- he, no way... Jose...

_JLaur_: he, okay...Jose 

A.Ham: haha yeah cuz I said that and then you... WE START WITH STARS IN OUR EYE-

_JLaur_: TF?

A.Ham: oh sorry what were we saying?

_JLaur_: nothing...

A.Ham: Ok cool

_JLaur_: ...

A.Ham: So... about nothing,..


	9. ROAD TRIP Pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of a strange adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sort of edited this while watching Jane the Virgin, so sorry if there are mistakes I missed.

NEW CHAT

 

_JLaur_ ADDED A.Ham

 

_JLaur_ ADDED A.Burr

 

_JLaur_: Who's ready for a ROAD TRIPPP?!

A.Burr: What?

A.Ham: I'm excited

_JLaur_: So should we stop at the petting zoo?

A.Burr: Slow down. What roadtrip?

A.Ham: Well did you not get my email?

A.Burr: No?

A.Ham: ohh wait I emailed Aaron.Burr123@gmail.com

A.Ham: I forgot that for some reason you use Yahoo

A.Burr: Well what was on the email?

_JLaur_: And who just got our email detailing exactly where we'll be for the next month?

A.Ham: Here I always type my emails in google docs before I send them so I can edit and spellcheck

A.Ham: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n-rIcQ-C5BPADQ6YN8KQkIT65Frk1vm__CvEzZFK5fM/edit?usp=sharing

A.Burr: ?!?

_JLaur_; WTF

A.Ham: Wrong one, that's for later.

A.Burr: ?!?!?!

A.Ham: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tCExzGJSEX1-ZiRA4qSY0swLDSmc4idi_JJfZvq3x88/edit?usp=sharing

A.Ham: There we go

_JLaur_: ...The Federalist Papers?

A.Ham: Written just like that.

A.Burr: ...

_JLaur_: The letter that got you to America??

A.Ham: Yup

_JLaur_: I need to start reading these

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should totally paste those links into a web browser, by the way...


	10. Uh Oh There Goes (Road Trip Pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 out of 5 of this strange adventure.

"-and that, is how you successfully dock a charter boat."

Aaron Burr had just tuned back into his kidnappers' conversation. The two were happily engaging in unimportant chatter, as if they hadn't just appeared at Burr's house and thrown him into the back seat of a minivan. 

"Anyways, what have you done today, John?" Hamilton casually asks as if he hadn't just gone on a 45 minute tangent about docking ships.

"Haven't you been with me this whole day?"

"Oh...yeah... What'd you do today, Burr?"

As Aaron opened his mouth to answer that question, he found himself closing it shortly after. What had he done today? Let's see... he woke up... had two frozen waffles... and was kidnapped. Yeah, that's pretty much all.

He couldn't say that though, Hamilton and Laurens had probably had very eventful days- or not, he would know if he had been paying attention.

"Well... I woke up."

"Yeah... and?" Laurens eyed him from the passenger's seat.

"I had breakfast, read the news and... took my cat for a walk."

"You don't have a cat." 

"Well... I got a cat.. and then took it for a walk."

"Cats don't go on walks...?" Hamilton looked at him through the mirror.

"Actually, my old cat Snickers used to walk around my neighborhood with me. On a leash and everything." John looked slightly proud of the statement.

"Well then I guess your story checks out, Burr, but I've got my eyes on you." Hamilton sighed.

"Where are we going, anyway?" Aaron glanced out the window on his left to see a street sign:

'Washington Heights'

Burr caught Hamilton grin for a split second before turning onto the road. 

 

"Washington Heights." He sang to a sort of tune. Hamilton did that- sang certain names or phrases, including his own name, to specific tunes. Burr usually ignored it but found himself humming them later.

"Wait, I thought we were stopping for dinner?" John seemed about as confused as Aaron was, thankfully.

"I know someone. We can go over to dinner, there's plenty to eat-!" He did it again. Another tune. As if rehearsed.

"I am so scared." Aaron strained his eyes ahead as they turned onto the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH it went into reality for a second there. It won't stay that way though.


	11. ROAD TRIP Pt 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas was bored, so he asked Jemmy to investigate his enemy's road trip.

Jemmy_Snowflake: Woah woah. Slow down. So what exactly happened??

A.Burr: Hamilton and Laurens showed up at my apartment, threw me into a van, drove me to some Immigrant town and forced me to eat. Now we're staying at a hotel nearby.

Jemmy_Snowflake: Bit by bit. What immigrant town?

A.Burr: Washington Heights, I believe.

Jemmy_Snowflake: Okay, and where did you eat dinner?

A.Burr: This girl Nina's mother made so much food. 

Jemmy_Snowflake: And the hotel?

A.Burr: Then they forced me back into the van and sped to a nearby hotel with bad internet and uncomfortable beds.

Jemmy_Snowflake: Right...

•••  
Jemmy_Snowflake: So what happened?

A.Ham: Well I let Burr come on a road trip with Laurens and me.

_JLaur_: Our first stop was a nice town, what was it called?

A.Ham: Washington Heights. A beautiful immigrant town where we went to dinner at my friend Nina's house.

Jemmy_Snowflake: And Burr?

A.Ham: Seemed to be really enjoying the food, he ate everything we served him.

_JLaur_: He even tried to eat the wrapper of a mint, I think.

Jemmy_Snowflake: And after the dinner?

A.Ham: We drove up a city to a nice hotel I booked yesterday. It's got AC, and soft mattresses!

_JLaur_: And Burr even volunteered to sleep on the floor. This is a great vacation.

Jemmy_Snowflake: Right...


	12. ROAD TRIP Pt 4?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like they could have handled this better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mentions insects, but I'm terrified of them an I wrote this, so I think if YOU'RE squeamish you'll be fine. Just thought I should warn you.

_JLaur_: Heyyyyyyyy

A.Burr: John, why are you texting me? We are in the same car. You are literally less than 2 feet away from me. 

_JLaur_: I can't say this in front of Alex

A.Burr: Is something wrong?

_JLaur_: Remain calm.

A.Burr: ??

_JLaur_: I believe there is a small spider crawling up the steering wheel.

A.Burr: It seems there is.

A.Burr: Why can't you say this out loud?

_JLaur_: Because Alexander will flip out and make us pull over.

A.Burr: I didn't know he was arachnophobic.

_JLaur_: I don't speak French.

A.Burr: ...Yes you do...

_JLaur_: Whatever, can you distract him so we can remove the spider?

A.Burr: We are on a 4-lane interstate driving at 60 MPH sandwiched between two trucks and you want me to distract our driver?

_JLaur_: I think he'd be more likely to crash if he saw the bug.

A.Burr: Technically a spider's an arachnid, not an insect.

_JLaur_: What's the difference? 

A.Burr: Insects can have a maximum of 6 legs, and spiders have 8.

_JLaur_: If I took that spider and plucked two of its legs off...?

A.Burr: It would still be a spider.

_JLaur_: Oh

A.Burr: 

_JLaur_:

A.Burr: I lost it.

_JLaur_: Lost what?

A.Burr: The spider, that was on the wheel, I lost it. 

_JLaur_: Crap, look on the floor?? I don't wan it, like, nesting???

A.Burr: I'm pretty sure that would require another spider.

_JLaur_: They don't multiply?

A.Burr: John, that's GERMS. 

A.Burr: Found it. It's on Alexander's shoulder.

_JLaur_: HOW DID IT GET THERE?

A.Burr: 8 Legs, we've been over this.

_JLaur_: Can you get it off him??

A.Burr: Without him noticing? Probably not.

_JLaur_: Can we just casually get him to pull over?

A.Burr: I could ask him to stop at a gas station.

_JLaur_: Yes, do that.

 

A.Burr: He said we just passed the last one for a while.

_JLaur_: I can hear, you know.

A.Burr: It's still there, I say we just tell him.

_JLaur_: Fine. Just don't say I didn't warn you.


	13. Of Fucking Course. (Pt 4.5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, there must have been a batter way to have handled things.

_JLaur_: Hello, this is a resident nurse from Pennsylvania State Hospital. As you are listed as John Laurens' first emergency contact, I am just informing you that he has been in a serious collision. It appears as if himself, an Alexander Hamilton, and Aaron Burr, were in the same vehicle when they swerved off the highway. I can release no other specific information over text, but visiting hours are from 5-7.

Pegasusus: Of fucking course.


	14. idk prolly death (END OF ROAD TRIP)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look at the bright side.

Pegasusus: Alex??

A.Ham: Yes?

Pegasusus: I knew you wouldn't let them take your phone.

A.Ham: Never.

Pegasusus: Okay. WTF HAPPENED?!

A.Ham: Well it all started when I kindly allowed Burr to come on a road trip with John and I...

 

•••

•••

•••

 

Pegasusus: And then you CRASHED THE CAR?

A.Ham: it was a BUG

pegasusus: You're an idiot

A.Ham: So I've been told.

Pegasusus: So how close are you to death?

A.Ham: Not close enough for you to start planning the funeral. I have a concussion, my left arm and my right leg are broken, and I sprained my wrist. John also has a minor concussion and both his arms broke. Burr only had two broken ribs. 

Pegasusus: So should I come secretly pick you guys up?

A.Ham: You don't have your drivers license?

Pegasusus: Ha. You think that will stop me. Why do you think I'm John's emergency contact?

A.Ham: Well you don't need to come get is. I'll drive us home in a few days when we're released. 

Pegasusus: Road trip fail

A.Ham: I'd call it a success

Pegasusus: What would be a fail?

A.Ham: idk prolly death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you're caught up to all I've written on Wattpad! I'll probably write another one today, I've got a few ideas.


	15. Angie Doesn't Need To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Maria hasn't said much.

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Maria are you okay?

XxMariaxX: Yes, why do you ask?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: You just haven't messaged me all day, but that's fine of course I was just making sure.

XxMariaxX: Aww well thanks for your concern but I'm just fine! I'm with your sister at the moment actually.

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Angelica?

XxMariaxX: Peggy. She had to go pick up John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton, and Aaron Burr from some hospital after they got in a car crash and it was a secret actually I'm just remembering so I probably shouldn't have just said anything ignore me never mind how was your day?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: CAR CRASH?

XxMariaxX: Just don't tell Angelica, she'll have our heads for sure.

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Why were you even involved in this? We could've just had a movie day with ice cream and chocolate and cinnamon rolls.

XxMariaxX: Would you rather have had me let your sister, who doesn't have a driver's license, drive across the country by herself?

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: Good point. What about tomorrow? Movie day? :P

XxMariaxX: Of course. I heard Newsies was put on Netflix! Or that live action adaptation of Death Note!

Helplesslydevotedtoyou: I was thinking more Bob the Street Cat and an OBC bootleg of that history musical Miranda.

XxMariaxX: Both then! :D


	16. ANGIE KNOWS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ABORT, ABORT!

**Satisfied41** **ADDED A.Ham TO CHAT**

 

 

**{Satisfied41}:** So, Alex. What'd you do last weekend?

 

**{A.Ham}:** Oh... hi Angie. Not much? 

 

**{Satisfied41}:** Oh, really?

 

**{A.Ham}:** ...

 

**{Satisfied41}:** Well if you're sure.

 

**{A.Ham}:** Angelica are you alright? Did something happen?

 

**{Satisfied41}:** I don't know, did something happen?

 

**{A.Ham}:** That's what I'm asking you.

 

**{Satisfied41}:** Well I did hear a few things about a road trip, but I may have heard wrong.

 

**{A.Ham}:** Oh... Yeah. John, Burr, and I went on a road trip. It was fun.

 

**{Satisfied41}:** Fun, was it?

 

**{A.Ham}:** ...Yep.

 

**{Satisfied41}:** So nothing went wrong? Certainly no kidnapping or car crashes?

 

**{A.Ham}:** Nope.

 

**{Satisfied41}:** Alex.

 

**{A.Ham}:** Worth a shot.

 

**{Satisfied41}:** ALEX.

 

**{A.Ham}:** Funny story, uhm

 

**{Satisfied 41}:** You kidnapped Aaron Burr, went on a senseless road trip, got in a car crash, and almost died!

 

**{A.Ham}:** Well it's not funny when you tell it.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK, MA! I FIGURED OUT HOW TO USE BOLD!


End file.
